The Universe is always working in your favour
Do we live our lives forever trying to control the story? When we are starting to find our path, to carve out a career, meet our soul mate, create a family, are we really the writers of our own stories? Do we want to be? What if we relinquish some of the control, the fixation on goal setting, and controlling the narrative? Of course we have to plan ahead. We set goals to achieve dreams. But wouldn’t it be liberating to trust the process?
Have you ever felt that you failed at something, or experienced a life event that was unexpected, or felt like life just wasn’t “going your way”? Have you wished for something, and never see it materialise? You might go for a work promotion, three or four times, each time, pleading with the universe, crossing ever limb and finger, to have your hops dashed again.
How many times have we experienced heart break? We invest our futures (in our hearts and minds) to that one person, only to see the dream shatter when things don’t work out. There are other more unavoidable life losses that include death, and this comes to us all in the end. But how many of these are the result of unforeseen or cruel twists of fate where we are left questioning a moral code, a universal failure, a divine injustice.
Could we ever risk letting go, turning the metaphorical life sat nav off? What if we accepted events as they unfold, and let go of judgement? Accepted the inevitability? Is this really possible? Can you change your mindset from not getting the dream job, and falling into a pit of despair that your career will implode, to the anticipation of the next opportunity it has moved out of the way for?
Would life be easier, more joyful, if we stopped seeing a change in direction, a loss, a conflict as an inherent flaw in our fate? There will always be reaction, we are human, and we will experience pain, disappointment and loss. But what if we put our trust into a higher purpose, a divine timing, a universal intention that everything that happens is of the good? This turns the discussion to the concept of faith, surrendering to a higher source. Are we happier if we are leading our fate, or being led by it?
I spent decades chasing my dream of having a family, and security. I worked tirelessly and applied a rigid discipline to my work ethos. I achieved my professional and personal goals and believe this to be reflective of the work put in. However, there have been so many events in my life, from which I seem to have been spared, or rescued, that I do believe in a higher source of power. I have always felt that there is an invisible force, a silent energy, present throughout my life.
I now think it has been this unseen force that has supported me to where I am now. I don’t otherwise know how I have gotten here. Intact. There have been so many tragedies and losses, that I often felt the grip of life weakening. I lost my way, almost gave up. To believe that there is something bigger, more powerful, omnipresent, is the source of my faith, giving meaning to all the events that feel beyond my control. I suppose in this sense, the experiences that were not of my choosing, the events that caused stress and pain, were orchestrated not as random events, but as divinely timed learning opportunities.
This is definitely a more positive attitude to have about those times in life when things don’t seemingly go our way. Admittedly, when I am in the middle of chaos, pain or loss, it doesn’t feel like a learning opportunity. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with fear, such is the nature of Complex-PTSD. However, part of my healing journey has been about changing old patterns of thinking, negative rumination. I am editing my internal voice and giving her a different script.
I am slowly developing an attitude which promotes acceptance not resistance to life. I am trying to surrender the past, to stop predicting the future, and to exist now. I have talked many times in other blogs about the power of now, living in the present. My three guides are my intuition, values and nervous system. The latter requires a lot of work of course!
Living with complex-PTSD leave my nervous system dysregulated which means that regardless of how I try to allow each moment to exist, my brain is like a digital risk assessment calculator; updating every nano second and scanning for perceived threats (of which there are many). The external environment may not have changed, but the internal world fluctuates like the waves of an ocean in a storm.
I will continue to dedicate my life towards healing, working through trauma and restoring my faith in the universe. It is with ongoing effort that I change my perspective, to lighten my grip on trying to control the world around me. Acceptance is probably going to be my greatest achievement. Life is. I am. Simply be. If you are ever experiencing any of the symptoms described, or feel overwhelmed by your world, please reach out, talk to someone, or access your local NHS services. Sometimes we need help to get us back on our journey. We’re never lost forever.
