The Energy of Kindness
There are times when I wake up to face the day, with a heavy heart. Managing Complex- PTSD is unpredictable and life through its lens can appear distorted at times, one day all emotions magnified, then another, so distant as to feel isolated and alone. Being strong and showing up, for your family, for your role in the workplace, and taking time for your friends, can feel like an impossible task. There are days when you wonder how you get through.
Today was one of those days for me. My eyes opened just before my alarm, and I could see the sun rays peeking through our bedroom blinds like a silent invitation to the day. I don’t know why my feet and body felt heavy, or my heart was wrapped in sadness, but I have come to realise that acceptance is my only option.
I saw my children off to school, both independent now, each with their own group of friends and routines. Then I prepared myself for the day ahead, in my GP practice role, where I work the on call for same day urgent presentations. I’m currently without wheels, there’s a blog elsewhere on this site about my attachment to driving, and sadly while my car is sold, I have to be driven by my husband!
It wasn’t until I was at work, speaking to an elderly gentleman about one of his chronic conditions, that I was thrust out of my flatness, my state of dull anxiety. Like a lightbulb moment, or a download (I write about these in other blogs!) I realised the magic in helping others. As I talked to this particular patient, I found myself encouraging him to talk about his day, his routine, what he enjoys. This is not something we really have time for in primary care, even though such kindness and interest is more therapeutic than most of the medication’s patients take. But I found that the more I engaged with him, the more engaging he became, and I experienced a level of joy, at knowing that I might have made a difference to someone’s life.
In my practice, as part of my work I manage a lot of very elderly patients, and this allows me the privilege of an insight into their lives, their life experiences, their wisdom. Furthermore, I am witness to the oftentimes, lonely existence many have, when living to an old age. Many are widowed, and live alone, children grown up and moved away. Some of the patients I speak to don’t see anyone for days or weeks, having only the television or radio for company.
As I talked to my patient this morning, I realized how precious it is, to have the chance to engage with patients like this and how little effort is needed, to spend an extra five minutes on a phone call, asking questions, not just about medication and symptoms, but about that person’s day, what they will do, who they will see, what they might enjoy.
When I closed the call with this patient, he thanked me, explaining that he enjoyed the chat. This was validation for me. This confirmed my purpose, the reason I made the effort this morning, to get up, despite the anxiety that cloaked me. Sometimes we assume that self-gratification, like a treat of some kind, a purchase, or a night out, a meal, or a holiday, can help to lift our mood and restore our sense of joy and gratitude. But what if we don’t need any of that? What if the simplicity of kindness is the only action we need to feel joy?
The possibilities to this are endless. There will never be enough kindness in the world, and we can always find small ways to extend this to others. I am lucky to be in a job where I deal with people who are often at their most vulnerable, but whatever your vocation, job, or life purpose, kindness should be central. You might work in a hotel, as a chamber maid and see someone struggling with luggage at the lift. Offering a hand and then opening doors might just be the difference in their day. Or smiling when serving a patient in a café and even paying a compliment about something they are wearing, or a perfume, or piece of jewelry. This can make people feel seen and celebrated.
The same could work if you are a customer, and the waiter appears to be run off their feet. You might clear your table for them and take the plates to the counter. Or you might leave a small tip, and thank them individually, for the service. This could be the silver lining in their otherwise hectic day, and it cost you minutes few, and money you might otherwise waste on something you don’t really need.
Imagine the world if we all slowed down just enough to extend kindness, where we would otherwise turn the other way, and rush our way through another day, week, month, year. I think it is contagious, the more we spread it, the more lifted we will be as a universal consciousness. After all, we are all in this game called life, whether we like it or not, we didn’t choose our existence, but we can help each other get through the darker times. Abundance and happiness patiently await us, it exists behind every smile, echoes in everyone’s laughter and punctuates every thank you.
