Forgiveness
The Oxford dictionary of forgiveness states:
“The action or process of forgiving, or being forgiven. To forgive(verb) means to stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offense., flaw or mistake”.
The inspiration to write a blog about this came via two bizarre nudges, in the way of an email, and then from a discussion on the Television show Loose Women! I work sometimes six days a week so day time television is not something I engage in often, but today, for the first time in more than two weeks I finally had a day off and because the weather is so hot today, so I switched on the day time viewing.
The first nudge came via an email from a company who asked if I would mention their website and service, applauding me for the work and for raising awareness of anxiety and suffering. It was when I was watching Loose Women, that I witnessed a rare synchronicity, and immediately knew I had to write about it.
The discussion focused on the attitudes of the panel, whether it is easy or appropriate to forgive those who commit crimes against us. The discussion explored the rights of victims, and the prosecution service, and how difficult it can be for those who are subject to crime, like burgling, assault, theft. One of the panel then described a scenario where an individual who battles with their mental health, and uses alcohol to cope with life, drives under the influence and causes a fatality. She explains that even if the perpetrator serves a prison sentence, and receives the just punishment, they may never forgive themselves.
Worse still, the families of those who have lost a loved one to drink driving, may never want to extend forgiveness to the driver. The discussion explored the ethical and moral implications, showing the nuanced viewpoints. To forgive someone takes great courage and grace, particularly if that person at the time, had intent. The example of the drink driver, can often involve an individual who, in a normal mind set, would never want to hurt another person, but through whatever struggles they may be battling, they become compromised, unable to make coherent decisions, leading to life changing repercussions.
Now I can give no opinion either way, because I do not know how it feels to lose a loved one to a drunk driver, so I make no judgement in either direction. I have enormous compassion for people experiencing grief, and at the same time, empathise with anyone who turns to drugs, alcohol and self-medication because of the torment anxiety and depression and bring.
Having considered the discussion earlier today, I have pondered on the idea of forgiveness, relinquishing anger and resentment, shedding the burden of judgement on oneself and others. It’s an incredibly difficult action, I think. When we feel wronged, or offended, or short changed, whether it is justified or otherwise, we can get lost in our ego. We can find it difficult to shed the victim mind set. Even if it is understandable, often the only person we end up hurting is ourselves.
Of course there are levels of hurt and forgiveness, some wrongs are easier to overcome than overs. But it is food for thought. Without a doubt, in order to forgive others, the first person we must show grace and mercy to are ourselves. We are all human, and therefore flawed. In a life time we will all make mistakes, whether in relationships, in work, or with resources. But growth and evolution comes with repairing and healing, learning from these and becoming the best version of ourselves possible.
For anyone who has ever battled with alcohol abuse, and worse, been involved in drink driving the following link may be of help, and this was the email that arrived earlier, the PR Consultant of the firm asked if I could add it.
gervelislaw.com/blog/how-to-get-over-driving-anxiety/
